Weekend...YAY!!!

Woohoo, weekend is here. Initially i had to work over the weekend but management had some change of plan and so i'm free to sit back and chill over the weekend. That means i get to raid!!! mwahahaha, hrm...not today thoug damn tired, haven't been getting enough sleep thanks to the weather. Eh wait a sec, oh shit i just remembered i had some work to finish by monday...oh well there goes the plan. I'll probably be able to finish it in 1 day if i were hardworking enough, but knowing myself i'll probably slack a little here and there and get it done by monday instead. Then again i don't really have anything planned out for this weekend so what the hell i'll probably have a considerable amount of time on my hands to finish up whatever it is i have to do anyway, so its really no biggy.

Oh and since its the weekend maybe i should drag someone with me to go look for a new washing machine. Although i'd rather just send all my clothes to the cleaners at least thats so much easier, all you have to do is drop them off and pick it up whenever its ready. No need to put soap and the hang it out to dry, better yet don't have to worry bout it when its going to rain. Sigh i'm tired again that i don't feel like doing anything even though i haven't had my dinner yet, and its the weekend too. This sucks....lol. I should go look for someone to teman me go eat or something if not i guess i'll just tar pow some food and be miserably lonely while having my dinner and watching some anime till i get too tired and fall asleep....sniff sniff, so sad....yeah right :P

Zzzzzzz

I just got back from the office boy i feel so damn tired, man i've been working for the pass 12 hours well this is definately a first. Well fine fine its not really 12 hours if you wanna count all them breaks and lunch and dinner and what not, but you know what i mean la right. Funny thing is i didn't accomplish all that much really, but i do have to say that i am a wee bit disappointed in myself. Hey i'm still learning aight so lay off my back aight!!! hahaha...But seriously its been a long day and i'm really really really tired that i'm practically falling asleep on my keyboard right now, and as much as i want to bore you all to death with my whinning and bitching and other nonsense that usually just spews out of my mouth i think i'll let this one slide for now. So with all that said i think i'm just gonna sit back relax and catch some Zzz.

Ranting like a biatch

And just when everything was starting to fall back into place it has come back to haunt me, well at least for a day anyway. I guess that kinda explains yesterdays missing entry well not that i really care anyway just thought i'd rant about it. It was however a very grueling day yesterday, i don't know maybe cause chores and things that doesn't really concern me bugs the hell outta me when i have to handle it. I mean why should i handle it, its not my problem...and because i have to deal with it, it totally messes up my entire daily routine (Not like i really have one but hey who knows right). I was in my office clothes and i was sweating like a pig and let me assure you that that is not a very nice thing, with the recent dry spell that we've been experiencing here in good ol' Malaysia it actually really really sucks!!!

Even though i have pretty much chilled from yesterdays episode of horror, the whole day my head was screaming FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! GODDAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!! But yeah like i said thank god its over, well at least for now. As i stepped into the office today i was suddenly overcomed by the massive workload that i have to do, the workload doesn't really bother me really its the deadline which is a real killer. I'm just wondering how the hell am i gonna be able to pull this off, its gonna take a miracle and more to make this happen. So as i sat down on my chair lost in my own senseless thoughts i suddenly remembered to a day earlier this year (Chinese New Year to be precise) and i recalled reading that this year i'd have a bad year. Well having a bad year isn't suppose to be a bad thing cause everyone has their day right? But this is just plain silly...I mean come on!!! 1 month??? 1 whole fucking month of a bad spell...that is just the shit la i tell you.

And this damn thing isn't really helping my cause as well, hell its doing quite the opposite really and frankly i feel like i'm down in the dumps. And like i said i was just about ready to muster up all my strength to crawl out of this hell whole and get everything back on track again when all of a sudden shit happens and i'm back down to square one. Kinda reminds of you of snake and ladder don't it...fucking hell. Did i also mention that it has been really hot recently??? Well it has been REALLY HOT recently, i want it to rain goddammit!!! I immediately sweat when i step out of the shower so that really a very bad thing, well maybe its not really that hot but it sure as hell is humid and to be honest i really hate that. Its precisely because of the humidity that i have get all sweaty and shit every single time i get out of the shower, when i go to work, when i go out for lunch, when i go out for dinner and whatever else that i do that does not place me in the vacinity of an aircondition area. Hell i'm a smoker, so now how is that gonna help me stay in an air condition area for long!!??? Sigh...everything sucks.

I'm back?

After such a long time of slacking on almost anything and everything that i've been accustomed to on a daily basis, i have finally picked up the bits and pieces of where i left off before my terminally fucked up depression that i had the pain of going through for almost a whole month now. Although to be quite honest i don't think i'll every fully recover from it, but as things have finally been settling down i guess i'll now reorganise myself and get things rolling again. So far i guess i'm starting off really slow, but its better then just wallowing in my own shit being totally unproductive la. I've finally got my car, actually thats one long story that i don't intend to tell....yet anyway, lol. And its also because of my car that i felt really down, it wasn't really cause i don't like the car or anything but it has more to do with the story, oh don't you worry i'll let the whole world know about it when i decide. Well i'm kinda tired right now, need to get some stuff done and theres also dinner and blah blah blah. So i guess thats my queue.

p/s: Can anyone recommend me a washing machine to get, mines broken.

Absence WithOut Leave

Its been two weeks since my last post and then my absence, and to think that when i was outstation on work i had blogged more. Well things haven't been anywhere near decent lately and in lately i mean in the past two weeks, and i seriously doubt its gonna get better anytime soon although the situation now has already mellowed somewhat. However i don't intend to tell the whole world about whats going on in my life, not that it really matters actually but its much bigger then that. I always use to say that its funny how life is sometimes, like when how everything is bad you know something good is just around the corner...but i guess the question that you should be asking is what lies around the next corner. To summarize things up in the last 14 days my life has been filled with lots of ups and downs, and its not just those normal ups and downs but its more of those extreme ones....something you'd get when you're sitting on a rollercoaster.

If i were to choose the highest point of the last two weeks it would have been last wednesday, but sad to say it actually only lasted no more then 20 minutes before every god damn thing came crashing down and making what would have been a great day become just plain miserable. Yes as you can see i'm being bitter due to the shit thats been going on, and as much as i hate being bitter i can't help but feel that way...hell i feel so bitter that it sinks down to my bones and its tainting my heart black. I just want to reach out to the sky and scream at the top of my lungs 'SOMEONE HELP ME'. But it all falls on deaf ears, as hard and as much i a scream till my throat goes sore the only sound that i can hear fading into the distance is nothing more then my own voice filled with grief, frustrations and sadness echoing into nothingness.

But at the end of the day life goes on, everyday i drag my feet through the mud trying so helplessly to find back my drive and somehow it still eludes me. I know what to do but i just can't seem to do it after being knocked off my feet, and yet i try to get back up with this heavy burden on my shoulders that only seem to get heavier weighing me down with only my sanity holding me. 'Just how long can i go on like this?' i have asked myself many times during this trying time, and i can't seem to the answer...All i pray for is that i last long enough before my sanity lets me slip into a spiral vortex of eternal damnation never to be able to recover ever again...Ok so thats basically the explanation of my disappearance, and honestly i never would have written this until i felt that the situation was better but i don't think thats gonna change anytime soon, and besides someone has been calling me names for "slacking" so yeah there you go. Oh yeah did i also mention that i am sick...for the last four days, this really sucks. Well i'll probably post something more uplifting in the next day or so depending on my mood.