Its been two weeks since my last post and then my absence, and to think that when i was outstation on work i had blogged more. Well things haven't been anywhere near decent lately and in lately i mean in the past two weeks, and i seriously doubt its gonna get better anytime soon although the situation now has already mellowed somewhat. However i don't intend to tell the whole world about whats going on in my life, not that it really matters actually but its much bigger then that. I always use to say that its funny how life is sometimes, like when how everything is bad you know something good is just around the corner...but i guess the question that you should be asking is what lies around the next corner. To summarize things up in the last 14 days my life has been filled with lots of ups and downs, and its not just those normal ups and downs but its more of those extreme ones....something you'd get when you're sitting on a rollercoaster.
If i were to choose the highest point of the last two weeks it would have been last wednesday, but sad to say it actually only lasted no more then 20 minutes before every god damn thing came crashing down and making what would have been a great day become just plain miserable. Yes as you can see i'm being bitter due to the shit thats been going on, and as much as i hate being bitter i can't help but feel that way...hell i feel so bitter that it sinks down to my bones and its tainting my heart black. I just want to reach out to the sky and scream at the top of my lungs 'SOMEONE HELP ME'. But it all falls on deaf ears, as hard and as much i a scream till my throat goes sore the only sound that i can hear fading into the distance is nothing more then my own voice filled with grief, frustrations and sadness echoing into nothingness.
But at the end of the day life goes on, everyday i drag my feet through the mud trying so helplessly to find back my drive and somehow it still eludes me. I know what to do but i just can't seem to do it after being knocked off my feet, and yet i try to get back up with this heavy burden on my shoulders that only seem to get heavier weighing me down with only my sanity holding me. 'Just how long can i go on like this?' i have asked myself many times during this trying time, and i can't seem to the answer...All i pray for is that i last long enough before my sanity lets me slip into a spiral vortex of eternal damnation never to be able to recover ever again...Ok so thats basically the explanation of my disappearance, and honestly i never would have written this until i felt that the situation was better but i don't think thats gonna change anytime soon, and besides someone has been calling me names for "slacking" so yeah there you go. Oh yeah did i also mention that i am sick...for the last four days, this really sucks. Well i'll probably post something more uplifting in the next day or so depending on my mood.
If i were to choose the highest point of the last two weeks it would have been last wednesday, but sad to say it actually only lasted no more then 20 minutes before every god damn thing came crashing down and making what would have been a great day become just plain miserable. Yes as you can see i'm being bitter due to the shit thats been going on, and as much as i hate being bitter i can't help but feel that way...hell i feel so bitter that it sinks down to my bones and its tainting my heart black. I just want to reach out to the sky and scream at the top of my lungs 'SOMEONE HELP ME'. But it all falls on deaf ears, as hard and as much i a scream till my throat goes sore the only sound that i can hear fading into the distance is nothing more then my own voice filled with grief, frustrations and sadness echoing into nothingness.
But at the end of the day life goes on, everyday i drag my feet through the mud trying so helplessly to find back my drive and somehow it still eludes me. I know what to do but i just can't seem to do it after being knocked off my feet, and yet i try to get back up with this heavy burden on my shoulders that only seem to get heavier weighing me down with only my sanity holding me. 'Just how long can i go on like this?' i have asked myself many times during this trying time, and i can't seem to the answer...All i pray for is that i last long enough before my sanity lets me slip into a spiral vortex of eternal damnation never to be able to recover ever again...Ok so thats basically the explanation of my disappearance, and honestly i never would have written this until i felt that the situation was better but i don't think thats gonna change anytime soon, and besides someone has been calling me names for "slacking" so yeah there you go. Oh yeah did i also mention that i am sick...for the last four days, this really sucks. Well i'll probably post something more uplifting in the next day or so depending on my mood.
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