My internet connection is a girl

Now that my best friend is back from Cambodia i've been pretty much busy again, not busy enough to not blog but due to the situation with my damn router getting fried i can only afford to let one pc go online at a time. Considering that the line is currently being shared by two people, its proving to be very difficult between what needs to be done first and shit like that...Sigh, i really need to get a new router. Oh and just incase you guys don't know it was actually a router modem, so right now my home network has been downgraded to just modem...so no network. Was checking reviews and prices online about a day or two ago, and i can't find any impressive router modems out there. Its either router as in just routing capabilities which of course can be connected to a adsl modem, or router modem. Price difference would be about the same actually...but i don't know what i should get right now, really caught in a dilemma. But i think i wanna settle for a router and a modem, that way at least if shit like this happens again the best case scenario (well 2nd best actually) would be that i just replace the modem...and worst case scenario is everything fries. Why don't you guys suggest what i should do.

Speaking of networking, i kinda figured that my internet connection is weird....if it had a gender i would dare say that it has got to be a female. Why leh? well simply because it acts as though it has mood swings....you know like 'Oh its that time of the month' and then the connection becomes fucked up. How fucked up? Lets see, inconsistant response time, lag spikes, lag, disconnects...you name it. But then when its all happy and shit, the connection is as smooth as a babys ass....Like girl la!!!hehehe. No but really its really acts that way, previously it was even weirder. It used to stop all traffic, be it incoming or outgoing everytime i leave the pc. Simply put its like oh Eugenes not around...damn i'm lonely, oh well i'll just sulk in one corner and forsake all my tasks of downloading. And when i get back my downloads practically didn't even move. Worst still the only way to fix the problem is by resetting the modem entirely and only then will it work again. But once i leave for an extended period of time, the same shit happens all over again...I have no idea what is wrong and until today i've never met a single person who can help me with these problems that i'm facing. Do you know whats wrong?