And so my the weekend has arrived, but for me its gonna be a long one since i'm on a one week break. As good as it may seem i think i'm gonna be busy as hell since i have a TON of work to complete and i'm practically fucked...Well mostly thanks to all the procrastination that i'm reknowned for la. But i think i'll chill for the weekend first (procrastinate more) and then only get to work. I don't know but recently i've been feeling really fucked, unmotivated to do anything at all. Knowing for a fact that if i fail my project i fail my entire degree and yet that doesn't seem to motivate me enough to do a damn thing. Worst thing is this sudden change in me came in at the most crucial time where i have to tie up all the loose knots and finish up my project, and now because of the state of mind that i'm currently in i have too many things to do that i just don't want to do. I feel that i really have to get out la you know...i need to find some way to unwind a holiday away from everything at least for awhile to clear my mind and get things off my chest. If i were to describe the state i'm in now i would say that i'm completely surrounded in darkness in a room and i can't see anything but at the same time i feel like i'm being suffocated and daily i'm just choking at god knows what.
Sigh, time....so much to do yet so little time. Going away for a holiday (long holiday) right now isn't gonna solve anything for me cause i think right now its a race against time to complete my shit. Well i don't blame anyone actually, because honestly if you look at it from the beginning it was actually i who brought this unto myself. So if there was anyone to blame it would be me looking in the mirror and fucking myself up. But here is the strange thing, if i were given a chance to go back in time to undo my mistakes i probably couldn't do it. Of course there was that time when my pc died...so obviously i couldn't really do much work then. But after that issue was resolved somehow i just never found that momentum to drive me. Hrm, maybe something is missing...i think its 'vision' something that i lack of. I don't have a goal or i haven't found my purpose in life and right now i am still somewhat comfortable with my situation (which of course is a bad thing). Now the million dollar question is how am i gonna break out of my comfort zone? Why am i resisting to change? I think if i knew the answers to those questions only then i can break free from the strangle hold of my comfort zone and then i'll be able to move on and improve. So right now day after day i will have to swallow the bitter pill and FORCE myself to complete the tasks that i've been set out to do before i fuck my entire life in Uni. After all 'Time and Tide waits for no man'.
Sigh, time....so much to do yet so little time. Going away for a holiday (long holiday) right now isn't gonna solve anything for me cause i think right now its a race against time to complete my shit. Well i don't blame anyone actually, because honestly if you look at it from the beginning it was actually i who brought this unto myself. So if there was anyone to blame it would be me looking in the mirror and fucking myself up. But here is the strange thing, if i were given a chance to go back in time to undo my mistakes i probably couldn't do it. Of course there was that time when my pc died...so obviously i couldn't really do much work then. But after that issue was resolved somehow i just never found that momentum to drive me. Hrm, maybe something is missing...i think its 'vision' something that i lack of. I don't have a goal or i haven't found my purpose in life and right now i am still somewhat comfortable with my situation (which of course is a bad thing). Now the million dollar question is how am i gonna break out of my comfort zone? Why am i resisting to change? I think if i knew the answers to those questions only then i can break free from the strangle hold of my comfort zone and then i'll be able to move on and improve. So right now day after day i will have to swallow the bitter pill and FORCE myself to complete the tasks that i've been set out to do before i fuck my entire life in Uni. After all 'Time and Tide waits for no man'.
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