I am guessing its depression.

Recent events in my life has left me very dull lately, as i took the weekend to reflect on what has happened to me i realise that i have lost my usual easy go lucky self. I know that i have been under alot of pressure and stress from school work and also from my surrounding environment. My closest friends are away or not free and i don't want to derail them from their respective day to day activities to listen to my selfish rantings. I am very grateful however that an old friend of mine is back for holidays and he has made time to listen to my 'immature' and 'childish' rants about how life sucks. To be completely honest i think that this has definately got to be the lowest point in my life...this never ending day to day feeling of depression is bugging the hell out of me and its really starting to piss me off. I just can't seem to break free from its grasp no matter how hard i fucking try. And like i've a number of times already in my previous entries it isn't really helping me as i have crucial datelines to meet. I don't want to end up disappointing not only myself but mainly my mom who has worked tremendously hard and away from home just so that she can see me graduate. I'm in dire need of help, help to get out of the current state that i am in and there is no way out that i can think of. Reason is just because i can't seem to find the root of the problem, as hard as i think and as hard as i find i can't seem to find a source. All i know is i need to get out but i can't because time is against me and i just don't know what to do anymore. However i think that there is more then one source that is causing me to be like this i just can't seem to pin point on exactly what it is. Most likely its something from the past that has welled up inside me to boiling point and now it has just suddenly overflowed because i failed to tie things up in the pass.